Building Confidence and Resilience in Kids

As parents, we have long experience dealing with challenges, and mainly life experience that has shaped our resilience.
This column explores strengths and resources, confidence and self-image, and the appropriate response to the towel that always ends up on the floor after the bath.

The last two years have shaken the familiar daily routine.
Alongside terms like pandemic, variants, isolation, or testing, our lives have also gained features of uncertainty, worry, anxiety, and mainly the realization that the feeling of control over our lives is an illusion.
None of us truly controls reality, only how we cope with and respond to the reality imposed on us. This is a considerable challenge for any adult, and particularly for a parent.

We are supposed to be the anchor, the certain and calm place for our children As part of our parental role, we must influence the formation of internal resilience, ensure we do our best so the child has self-confidence, and feels supported by parents who believe they can successfully face reality.
We, as parents, influence educational methods and the home environment, and we are the most significant figures in our children’s development.

The challenge is to direct this influence in a positive and empowering way, understanding it is a central part of our role to prepare the child for independent and adult life, capable of handling changes, transitions, and challenges life presents.
Gradually, they receive feedback from their surroundings and form their identity, while the environment reflects their skills back to them.
It sounds simple, but in practice, it is very challenging.

Think also about where a child receives the most attention.
In practice, we take helpful behaviors for granted.
Our challenge is to do the opposite: give little attention to disruptive behaviors and a lot of parental attention to helpful behaviors we want to reinforce.
In the end, these behaviors demonstrate to our children the strengths and abilities we recognize in them.

Remember, we fuel the behaviors that receive parental attention.
Therefore, despite the tendency to comment and criticize, albeit with good intentions, we should try to reduce criticism, judgment, disappointment, and unhelpful questions like “why?” Alongside this, we should reflect our children’s abilities back to them.
In addition to reflection from the environment, self-confidence also develops through experience.
The more positive this self-perception, the more they believe in their abilities and dare to try.

The more a child is willing to experiment, the more situations they face and learn from each one their capacity.
As parents, we must let go of the habit of overprotecting or doing tasks instead of the children.
This way, they learn their abilities directly and develop them.
Of course, we always remain their safety net and remind them how much we believe in them. Ultimately, the lesson is simple let the child experience life as it is, knowing they have the support of parents who believe in them and reflect their abundant skills and strengths.